9.24.2007

Morale boosting Aphrodisiac for offshore team

Client comes in. He has some lieutenants, some from his own company, let us say A, some from the vendor, B for the sake of illustration, in tow. He tries to be very informal. Acts like he is a part of the minions. Will goof up intentionally so that his so called shortcomings are conspicuous resulting in we, the hoi poll accept him as a part of the clan. Cake cutting for successful completion of X years of "creating synergies", "generating value for the client through constant innovation", "following best in class processes and practices", "risk mitigation", "customising solutions for better delivery".

Now comes the pep talk "Hey guys, Good to see all of you here. Back there (author's comments: "Back there" means the client's den, most probably in the US of A where all the escalations take place) we all appreciate the quality of work coming from our partner. We started with a team of Y people (author's comments: needless to say, Y is an infinitesimally small number compared to Z, a variable which will be referred to later but has been declared here); Kailash here would remember the way things started. We did not even know where to get the stationery from; (it is another matter that Kailash was carrying loads of stationery home for his kids' homework.) We have come a long way after Z years. It is very important for each one of you to realise that back there (ayyo!) we do not consider B and A to be different. The only difference is that your salary comes from B (hello ! ..... Isn't that difference enough !).

I like the work culture here (well why wouldn't you, we do not work at all. Walking up to the coffee vending machine 5 times a day is tiring enough. And with all that office gossip, I do not have time for those boring requirements documents in my brain). We look forward some really great times and seeing some of you back there (Kill me ! This is asphyxiating.)"


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1 comment:

  1. Out of sheer curiosity! Why do you call this pep-talk an 'aphrodisiac'?? :)

    ReplyDelete